Saturday, June 25, 2011

Why He's Tight-Lipped About His Past

Hey there! Just wanted to share this nice article from Cosmo, June 2011 ish. :) The write-up was copied verbatim from the "Man Manual" section, page 54. ;)

His Point of View

There are just some topics that are untouchable if you want a peaceful conversation.  Guys would like to put our past in that category.  But, as many coupled men know, we can't do that without you putting up a fight.  So, in an effort to spare both parties the stress, here are four reasons that shed light on why we choose to stay silent about our lives before you came into the picture.

You'll be turned off.
We all make mistakes. Understandably, we'll suffer from being judged.  But, what hurts the most is when the ones giving the judgmental look are the people we care for the most.  Like, let's say, the person we're in a relationship with.  "I can't take that much of a risk when it comes to the woman I want to marry," defends Eumir, 35, manager.  "Baka iwanan n'ya pa ako 'pag nalaman n'ya ang totoo."

You'll keep bringing it up.
"Whenever we fight, she cites things I've done that don't have anything to do with the issue at hand," says Sherwin, 26, photographer.  "Imagine how much bigger our fights would be if she knew about the mistakes I made before." In other words, we're not too keen on loading bullets you can shoot us with.  Sure, the past helps explain the present.  But, in problem-solving, focusing on the present issue is a lesson we both need to learn.

You'll be unreasonably jealous.
Being jealous is good.  But, when it gets to the point of paranoia, it just complicates what could be a peaceful relationship.  "It's stressful when my girlfriend keeps on bringing up the past," explains Aldwin, 31, entrepreneur.  "It's tough to open up, but she makes me regret telling her when she gets jealous." When your man shares his past with you, he trusts you with it.  The next best step is to reciprocate that trust.

It's not that important (for us).
This is perhaps the most common reaction you get from guys when asked about our past.  And, it's exactly what annoys you, right? According to Victor, 29, videographer, the explanation is this:  "My past helped me become who I am right now.  I'm not sure you'd embrace my past the same way I do.  Just love me for who I am."

This is a very helpful read, isn't it? :)  Sometimes I succeed at getting Rolly into telling me about his past, but that would always take a lot of convincing. Now I know why. :)


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