Saturday, March 10, 2012

The Infamous Interview On Wedding Frivolities

The Philippine Daily Inquirer recently published an article discussing the view of the Church on wedding frivolities, or, roughly translated, "mga ka-ek-ekan sa kasal."   According to Manila Archbishop Luis Tagle, most weddings nowadays are full of unnecessary clap traps and embellishments that tend to deviate from sacred Catholic rites. Two classic examples are his stories about DOGS serving as ring bearers and one wedding which wouldn't start without the VIP BUTTERFLIES.  To the Archbishop, such silly practices must be avoided for they tend to lose the deeper spiritual meaning of the holy Catholic rituals.

As anyone would expect, one offshoot of this article would be a corresponding report on the TV networks, and that's exactly what GMA did promptly.  Guess who the interviewee was?


If you wanna go through the trouble of seeing the big, fat, on-screen version of myself, then click at your own risk.  Otherwise, bye bye! =P

From the perspective of a devout Catholic, I perfectly understand where Archbishop Tagle's coming from when he made his statement.  I agree with him that the Matrimony is a holy sacrament, and couples getting married must see to it that this sanctity is upheld.

From the perspective of a bride-to-be, on the other hand, I must say that getting married happens only once in a lifetime for most people (Others get annulled and remarry, and of course Muslim men can tie multiple knots), and you have every right to make it memorable.  If you're a hopeless romantic like myself, I'm sure you've imagined yourself walking down the aisle ever since you were as small as a mouse, and as you were growing up, you can't wait for that daydream to turn into reality.  When that day finally comes, it is but natural that you make your day of days as special and unforgettable as possible.

However, it is important to remember that...


And marrying couples, especially the brides, have to DRAW THE LINE.

For some, this must be hard to define.  When is something considered too much?  When do you say something's already over the top and exaggerated?  Apparently, the answer to this is very subjective.

Personally, my view is that if and when something makes brows raise and eyes roll inside the church, that's a good enough indication that yes, that wedding element of yours is just too much.  If I were attending a wedding where flower girls are dressed as pumpkins and bridesmaids as winged fairies, I would say that's OA.  Or if the ninongs are donning crowns like kings and ninangs have batons like that of Queen Elizabeth's, again that's a little too much for me.  

If you're a stubborn bridezilla and it's imperative for you to channel such unorthodox looks and/or gimmicks on your big day, perhaps you could consider doing these frivolities in the reception venue instead, or outside the church immediately after the wedding ceremony.  Or, you may opt not to have a church wedding and have a garden wedding instead where you are not bound by the sensitivities of the Church (I am not sure if Christian weddings have issues with these, too).

You see, we can make our wedding our very own without having to defile the sacrament of matrimony.  If you want your dogs to play a role in your big day, why not dress them up and have them parade with you in your grand entrance at the reception?   If you want to churn out the best photos on the altar, do you really have to tell the priest to step aside and position himself some place else?  This is rude!  Get one helluva good photographer who can make his own adjustments and still generate exceptional photos.

In the interview, I said that I want a fog machine used in the church, so that a cloud of mist would serve as my cover before I walk down the aisle for added drama.  This is true, but I will never make it a big deal if the church wouldn't give us permission.  Yes I want drama, but can anything else prove more touching than a church full of family and friends wishing us well as we tie the knot?  No.  The presence of these people on our big day to witness our vows before the Lord is the most important thing.  Nothing else matters as much.

Brides, bear this in mind.  A wedding is a celebration of the union of two souls.  It is not a performance.  It is a celebration of faith, and this faith is what we should focus on when we get married.  If we put a great deal of effort in preparing for the wedding which is only one day, then let's exert a great deal more in preparing for the married life that comes after the wedding.  :)  For me, this is what's of ultimate importance - our life ever after with the spouse God has given us. :)

Cheers to weddings and marriage and to a God-centered life ever after! :)


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